Ang ngongo at binge!

Sabi ng ngongong pasahero sa bus, “Mama, mara lang a tami!”

Hindi huminto ang bus.

“Mama, mara!” sabi ng ngongong pasahero.

Tuluy-tuloy pa rin ang bus.

“MAMA! INAMI NANG MARA, EH!” sigaw ng ngongong pasahero.

Tumigil ang bus. Paliwanag ng driver, “Ori, a! Aaala o, niloloo mo lang ao, e!”

 ————————ahehe eto pa!————————–
Dalawang binge nagkasalubong:
BINGI 1:oh pare bkit may dala kang basket punta ka bang palengke?
BINGI 2:hinde!!!punta lang akong palengke..
BINGI 1:ahhh!!!kala ko punta kang palengke.!!:D
Joke courtesy of Junnel Babejes on Facebook.
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Let me just told you a story..

It was jazz an ordinary day. the skies were clear, the birds were chipping. Ang ganda-ganda ng araw! Nasa SM ako noon at katatapos ko lang mamili ng groceries.
Timing naman nasa foodcore si Angel Locsin, nagpro-provoke ng movie nya. Grabe, andaming fans, pull-packed talaga! Dahil fans nya rin ako, nakipila rin ako.

Then suddenly, out of the loo, may bumulong sa akin ng: “Cholengggggggggg. ……” Huh? It sounded like a familiar sound. Who can it be now? “Dodong!” sigaw ko.

Napalakas yata voice ko. Kasi the other fans turned their backs to their behind at napatingin sa amin. Sabi ko “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be loud and proud.” Hinawakan na lang ni Dodong ang kamay ko at lumayo kami from the crowd.

“Kamusta na Choleng? Do you come here open? tanong nya.

 “Bihira lang, Dodong. I’m just droppings by. Ethnic and schedule ko eh” sabi ko.

Memories came flushing in my mind. How can I forget to remember Dodong? Siya na may mata ni Piolo, dimple ni Aga, at bigote ni Rex Cortez. he’s every woman’s dreamboat.

I was just starting my tour of duty kay ate noon nang unang makilala ko si Dodong. Contraction worker siya sa ginagawang bahay sa tapat namin. Naging kami for a while then after that were not an item anymore.

“Tanghali na Choleng. What did you say we have lunch together?” tanong ni Dodong.

“I don’t mine” sagot ko.

Sa restaurant, nilapitan kaagad kami ng waiter.

“What’s your odor sir?” sabi nung waiter kay Dodong.

“Do you have porkshop?” tanong ni Dodong.

“Yes sir” sabi nito. “Our porkshop with a resistance to the teeth of boast of our chef. Domestic careful selection of pork with little fat of female liking is used. The exquisite cooking which repeated trial and error and was completed. it also has healthy vegetables with salad feeling fully” dagdag niya.

“And you mam?” sabay tingin naman sa akin.

Hmmm… mukhang masarap yung porkshop. Pero I’m cutting down on my carbon kaya pinigilan ko.

“I’ll just have water, thanks. Liquidate diet ako eh.” sagot ko.

Pagkatapos kumain, nagyaya si Dodong manood ng sine. Teka teka, this is going too far. Besides, it’s a long, long way to run.

“Reality chess, Dodong. May asawa na ako, si Jay. As a mother of fact, I’m happily married” pagmamalaki ko.

“Di na pwede yung tulad ng dati. Sorry pero I didn’t expect you still have more feelings than I expected. i don’t want you getting the way. Past is fast. Therefore, cause and defect.” dagdag ko pa.

Tumahimik sya. Parang may language barrel na namagitan sa amin. The seconds that passed seemed like fraternity. Di nagla-on, nagsalita na rin sya.

“I don’t care less!” sigaw ni Dodong.

Shocks, give me a brake! The nerd ng taong ito para sigawan ako! To think it’s his other woman that caused our separation to part.

Kinabahan na ako.

I felt speedbumps all over my body and was having panic attach. Tinalikuran ko siya at nagmadali akong lumakad palayo. Pero sumunod pa rin siya like a monkey on my butt.

Hanggang sa makakita ako ng security guard. Biglang nawala si Dodong.

“Excuse me kuya, pwedeng magtanong?” sabi ko sa mamang guard.

“Of course miss, I can help you with my pleasure.” sagot niya.

“Saan po ba ang exit? Could you point me to the right erection? I got lost in my eyes.”

“Diretso lang.” sabi niya. “Then turn right anytime with care.”

“Thanks for your corporation” sabi ko.

Buti na lang nandun si kuya. Pero saglit lang, I smell something peachy. As I turned, nakita ko na namang nakasunod si Dodong! Delaying static lang pala kanina ang pag disappear nya.

“Nyahahaha! You can run but you can hide, Choleng. No matter where you go, there you are!” pananakot nya.

Oh no, is this the end? This is too much, I feel degradable.

My world started falling afar.

Then suddenly, Jay come from behind!

Dodong was caught to the act! In the matter of minute, it’s all over. I’m out of arm’s way.

“Thanks Jay, my love. But how did you?” b

ago pa man ako matapos, sabi niya:

“I was in the neighborhood. Fans din ako ni Angel eh. I heard you shout but at first I didn’t give it a thought. Pero nang makita ko kayong magkahawak ng holding hands, then i give it a thought. I know something is a missed.”

From then on, Dodong did not brother me again. In fact, he didn’t even sister me. As in platonic at wala na talaga. Pero kami ni Jay, heto, shoot sailing pa rin ang relationship. Lalo pa ngayon, open na kami sa isa’t-isa at walang exhibitions. i feel I’m on cloud…

Note submitted by Emerald Ventura via Jax Floro link.

Sa Lahat ng may SABLAY…

Thank you so much for supporting the site.. I’ve just been so busy the past 2 weeks i haven’t had time to update.. But despite that I am so happy that the site has been getting its share of support from the loyal supporters of SABLAY. My gash! Parang gusto kong umiyak dahil ang dami nyo pa rin nagpaparamdam dito sa site.. and yes, nakikita ko sa daily stats ko yun! So without further ado (<sablay ba pagka-spell ko diyan) haha, at sa mga nangungulit na magupdate na ako.. eto na.. maga-add na po ako.. Salamat ulit! ‘Ngatz!

Ken

JOKE TIME!

Joke #1

Pacman: Mom, how many Liters are there in a 4000mL coke?

Mommy D: hmm… 4 LITERS !

Pacman: ???

Mommy D: LITER C, LITER O,  LITER K,  LITER E

Joke #2

Pedro: Soli ko tong nabili kong DVD

Juan: anong problema?

Pedro: walang picture saka sound. Sayang, suspense thriller pa yata ito

Juan: anong title?

Pedro: The Lens Cleaner

Jokes courtesy of  Cresta Ramos, submitted by Kit Joaquin.

If you were a cactus, why?

These are questions and actual answers of contest participants!

1. Q: “Ano sa Tagalog ang teeth?”
A: “Utong!”

2. Q: “Kung ang light ay ilaw, ano naman ang lightning?”
A: “Umiilaw!”

3. Q: “Kung vegetarian ang tawag sa kumakain ng gulay, ano ang tawag sa kumakain ng tao?
A: “Humanitarian?”

4. Q: “Sina Michael at Raphael ay mga.”
A: “Ninja?”

5. Q: “Ano ang karaniwang kasunod ng kidlat?”
A: “Sunog!”

6. Q: “Magbigay ng sikat na Willie.”
A: “Willie da pooh!”

7. Q: “Ang mga Hindu ay galing sa aling bansa?”
A: “Hindunesia?”

8. Q: “Anong hayop si King Kong?”
A: “Pagong!”

9. Q: “Magbigay ng mabahong pagkain.”
A: “Tae!”

10. Q: “Saang bansa matatagpuan ang mga Canadians?”
A: “Canadia!”

11. Q: “Kumpletuhin – Little Red _______.”
A: “Ribbon!”

12 Q: “Ano ang tinatanggal sa itlog bago ito kainin?”
A: “Buhok?”

13. Q: “Magbigay ng pagkain na dumidikit sa ngipin.”
A: “Tinga!”

14. Q: “Anong oras kadalasang pinapatay ang TV?”
A: “Pag balita?”

15. Q: “Ano ang tawag mo sa anak ng taong grasa?”
A: “Baby oil?”

16. Q: “Saan karaniwang ginagawa ang mga sweets na ginagamit sa halu-halo?”
A: “Sweetserland?”

17. Q: “Sinong higanteng G ang tinalo ni David?”
A: “Godzilla?”

18. Q: “Ano ang mas malaki, itlog ng ibon o sanggol ng tao?”
A: “Itlog ng tao!”

19. Q: “Anong S ang tawag sa duktor nag nago-opera?”
A: “Sadista?”

20. Q: “________ is the best policy.”
A: “Ice tea?”

22. Q: “Saan binaril si Jose Rizal?”
A: “Sa likod!”

23. Q: “Fill in the blanks – Beauty is in the eye of the ____.”
A: “Tiger?”

24. Q: “Ano ang kinakain ng monkey-eating eagle?”
A: “Saging!”

25. Q: “Kung ang suka ay vinegar, ano naman ang Inggles ng toyo?”
A: “Baliw!”

26. Q: “Anong tawag mo sa kapatid ng nanay mo?”
A: “Kamag-anak!”

27. Q: “Saan nakukuha ang sakit na AIDS?”
A: “Sa motel?”

28. Q: “Kung ang H2O ay water, ano naman ang CO2?”
A: “Cold water!”

29. Q: “Sinong cartoon charcater ang sumisigaw ng yabba dabba doo?”
A: “Si scooby dooby doo?”

30. Q: “Heto na si kaka, bubuka-bukaka.”
A: “Operadang bakla?”

31. Q: “Ilan ang bituin sa American flag?”
A: “Madami!”

32. Q: “Ano ang tawag mo sa taong isa lang ang mata?”
A: “Abnormal!”

Submitted by : Kit Joaquin.

SABLAYtionary

Taken from various sources..

CONTEMPLATE: KULANG o KONTE ANG PLATO  – – “Ako na maghuhugas kasi CONTEMPLATE lang naman eh” 

PUNCTUATION: PANG ENROLL – – “Pahingi naman ng pera PUNCTUATION ng anak mo” 

CALCULATOR: TAWAGAN KITA MAMAYA – – “O sya sya, mejo busy lang ng konti, i’ll CALCULATOR 

TENACIOUS: SAPATOS GAMIT SA LARONG TENNIS – – “Hindi ako makakalaro ngayon kasi naiwan ko yun TENACIOUS ko” 

DEVASTATION: STATION NG BUS – – “I need to leave early to buy a ticket, the lines are long at DEVASTATION” (Oha english yun ah!) 

DEDICATE: NAMATAY ANG PUSA – – “Nakakain yung pusa ko ng Dora, ayun DEDICATE

ASPECT: PANG DUROG/TUSOK NG YELO – – “Ang laki namang bloke ng yelo yan, dali kunin mo yung ASPECT

DEDUCT: ANG PATO – – “The balot comes from the egg of DEDUCT

DEFEAT: ANG PAA – – “Before entering the house, you have to wash DEFEAT

DETAIL: ANG BUNTOT – – “To catch the bayawak, you have to grab it from DETAIL

CITY: BAGO MAG UTSO – – “Kailangan kong manood ng teleserye ng alas CITY

STATUE: IKAW BA YAN? – – “Sino yung kulot sa yearbook, STATUE?”

PERSUADING: UNANG KASAL – – “You know, this is the PERSUADING that i’ve attended in 10 years” 

DEPRESSED: ANG NAG KASAL SA PERSUADING – – “My favorite part of the ceremony was when DEPRESSED fell asleep during his Homily”

TISSUE: AASARIN KITA – – “Pag pumalpak ka na naman, I will TISSUE” or IKAW NGA? – – “TISSUE? Is it really you?”

Si Summer talaga, pilosopo.

andito lang ako, sa panahong bumagsak ka at nawawalan ng pag-asa

–summer class…

Quote courtesy of M.B. Piabol, Narinig Ko Sa UP group on Facebook.

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